More Than Just Pain: How Migraine Impacts Relationships
Surveys from the US and Israel reveal how migraines affect relationships, intimacy, and social plans, often leading to guilt and emotional distance. Many patients admit to hiding the severity of their condition from their partners.
When thinking about migraines, most people imagine intense headaches, sensitivity to light and noise, and nausea. But for millions worldwide, the disease affects much more than physical symptoms. It can penetrate relationships, harm intimacy, cause plans to be cancelled, and trigger feelings of guilt, frustration, and loneliness.
Ahead of Tu B'Av, surveys conducted in the USA and Israel paint a similar picture: migraines affect not only the person dealing with them but also their partner and the quality of the relationship as a whole.
A survey conducted by Harris Poll for AbbVie among 606 adults living with migraines in the USA examined how the disease affects their love life. The data shows that three out of four participants said that migraine attacks harmed their romantic relationships.
Emotional difficulty being present
One of the most prominent findings was that 89% of respondents admitted it is difficult for them to be emotionally present in a relationship during an attack. This means the disease is expressed not only in physical pain but also in a sense of detachment from a loved one.
It also emerged that more than half of the respondents (51%) cancelled or postponed a date because of a migraine. On average, each did this about eight times during the last year.
Couple intimacy is also harmed. 78% of participants admitted they tried to overcome the pain to maintain physical intimacy with their partner, despite feeling unwell.
Hiding the struggle
In parallel with the American survey, "My Chronic Head" (the Israeli association for headache and migraine patients) conducted a survey among 135 Israelis. The results indicated a widespread impact on couple life:
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About 95.5% of respondents reported being forced at least once to cancel a romantic plan following an attack.
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63.9% admitted they hid or minimized the severity of their condition from their partner, fearing how it would be received.
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55.3% reported dealing with emotional tension or a sense of guilt within the relationship.
A disease that affects the whole family
Faiga Marks, chair of the "My Chronic Head" association, says the data illustrates that migraines are not only a neurological disease but also an emotional and relationship challenge.
"The data clearly shows that there is an emotional burden no less than the physical one. There is a need to develop tools, support groups, and therapeutic frameworks that address the challenge of couple life alongside the disease," she says.
According to Dr. Nirit Lev, chair of the Israeli Headache Society, migraines are much more than just a headache. The uncertainty of when an attack will arrive can be just as difficult as the attack itself. She emphasizes the importance of sharing all effects of the migraine with an attending physician to adjust treatment that improves both coping and quality of life.
Fear of rejection
The psychological aspect also plays a significant role. Dr. Eli Maimon, a rehabilitation psychologist at Meuhedet, explains that chronic migraine is a "transparent" disease, leading many to debate whether to reveal their condition.
"People ask themselves whether to share with their partner and how the other side will react. At the beginning of a relationship, a fear of rejection may arise, and in a longer relationship, the fear of becoming a burden sometimes arises. On the other hand, open sharing can actually strengthen the sense of closeness and trust," he explains.
Avital Lev, who deals with migraines, says that even in a stable relationship, the disease poses challenges. "When dealing with the migraine together, as a team, and not each alone, it is possible to get through even the difficult moments and strengthen as a couple."
