Not every woman with glasses is the Military Advocate General - and not every channel is a news channel | Ben Caspit

"We are publishing this footage from this morning for the first time, the channel's researcher met the former Military Advocate General and tried determinedly to get her response to the publication about the plea deal," announced the announcer's festive and serious voice, and all this happened, of course, after the "storm that broke out following the publication here in the main edition," according to that same announcer, "about the intention to close the case of the dismissed Military Advocate General."

By the way, even before we start, it is worth noting that there is no intention to "close the case of the dismissed Military Advocate General." Closing a case means canceling the charges and not filing an indictment. In the Military Advocate General's case, there is no such intention. There are probably contacts for a plea deal, an event not rare in our parts, since most criminal cases end this way. But there is no "closing of the case." And therefore, the entire magnificent eucalyptus that they planted on Channel 14 regarding their item was planted on fictitious shifting sands. Not that anyone on this channel is bothered by that.

But let's move on to the main course. The "Main News Edition" of Channel 14 brought a bombshell story yesterday (Monday) and opened the broadcast with it, using all the necessary dramatic aids. Exclusive, storm, first publication, paparazzi photos of those who gathered intelligence, snuck behind enemy lines, outsmarted the leftists and anarchists, sought contact, did not hesitate and did not blink until they stood before the enemy, meaning the Military Advocate General, and looked him in the whites of his eyes. Well, it's a pity they didn't volunteer to also collect what the enemy's dog left behind.

And yet, at some point, a minor problem arose. It turned out that the citizen who went down to walk her dog in the street garden was not the Military Advocate General. True, she was probably Ashkenazi, and she wore glasses like the Military Advocate General's, which is incriminating as is known, and her hair resembled the hair of Yifat Tomer-Yerushalmi, and who knows, maybe the Military Advocate General also has a dog that looks like the dog of the one who walked with it yesterday in the neighborhood of the Military Advocate General, who is not the Military Advocate General.

In other words, the "Main Edition" of the Netanyahu family heritage channel ridiculed itself yesterday to the point of pain, mixed with tears of laughter, and after digging itself a grave, it made sure to wrap itself in shrouds, crawl inside while asking passersby to cover its still-warm body. The moral of the story: not every Ashkenazi woman with brown hair and glasses is the Military Advocate General.

It's a funny joke, I know, but it's at our expense. Because even after the whole world and its Military Advocate General (I think Avishai Grinzaig was the first) tweeted and mocked that a mistake had been made and that the invested, investigative, and poignant item of the "Main Edition" was non-existent, a complete, absolute, and wonderful fake, the friends at Channel 14 uploaded the item to the internet and boasted about it. As if to say, here is the scoop, in case someone missed it.

And after exhausting this self-humiliation, and after they finished shredding their own body to the cheers and tears of laughter of the masses, the geniuses of the channel deigned to finally remove the item from the network and publish one of the most grotesque defenses of all time. And I quote: "The lady who was filmed was walking behind the building where Yifat Tomer-Yerushalmi lived! A person who looks like Yifat Tomer-Yerushalmi's husband accompanied her!! The lady looks very much like Yifat Tomer-Yerushalmi!!! And her name is Yifat!!!! And she did not deny that she is the Military Advocate General!!!!!".

I swear to you. I think they haven't taken down this ridiculous alibi yet. Well, dear heritage channel. The walking neighbor does indeed look, probably, like the Military Advocate General, and you do indeed look, with some resemblance, like a news channel, but the lady is not the Military Advocate General and you are not a news channel. On a professional news channel, which has an editing chain, proofreading, fact-checking, logic, and some professional sense and some responsible adults, this item would not have approached the broadcast. And if it had approached the broadcast, it would have vanished from the network the second the first tweet appeared that debunked it.

Why am I dwelling on this bizarre event? Not only because it is a channel that dictates and interprets the news for a certain part of the citizens of Israel, a part that is convinced that the lady with the dog is the Military Advocate General, that Yonatan Urich did not work with Qatar and that if they had woken up Bibi at night we would have achieved absolute victory and world peace. I am dwelling on this event because it symbolizes the era. When the only required trait is loyalty, what you get in the best case is amateurism, in the less good case negligence, and in the worst case charlatanism.

Take a look for a moment at the list of candidates for the Likud primaries. Compare it to the Likud contestants during the era of Menachem Begin, Yitzhak Shamir, Ariel Sharon, David Levy, Modai, Arens, Meir Sheetrit, and all the rest. Look for a moment at the list of government ministers. A long and endless list. Listen for two minutes to May Golan or Tally Gotliv. After that, you will understand everything. It's not just Channel 14. It's life itself.

When you are stuck in huge traffic jams in August, a time when the roads should be empty, remember that at the head of the Ministry of Transport is someone whose career peak was at the Likudiyada. When you pay at the supermarket, remember that a mediocrity named Nir Barkat is responsible for prices, together with a messianic mediocrity named Smotrich. When you call the police, the burglar is still on the lower floor of the house and is filmed on the security camera, and the police arrive after three days and close the case because there is no public interest, remember that the minister responsible for the police is busy with crocodiles and TikTok videos. And that is just the beginning of the list. So good luck to us all and beware of Military Advocate Generals walking freely in the area.