“I Have Social Anxiety — Sweating, Tremors, and a Lot of Restlessness in My Body”
Ben Shai, a popular culinary content creator, opens up about his transition from high-tech to the kitchen, his battle with perfectionism, and the social anxiety he hides from his followers.
Ben Shai (32) is a culinary content creator, YouTuber, and home cook who became famous thanks to the short, creative, and detailed cooking videos he uploads to social media. He combines accessible home food with professional techniques, precision, and explanations of the processes that take place in the kitchen. A graduate of the Bishulim school, Ben has established a large community of food lovers over the years and today writes and films a weekly column for mako Eats.
Let's settle this at the beginning. What is your name — Ben, Ben-Shai? What is written on the ID?
Wow, I don't even remember what my parents call me. Just kidding, of course my name is Ben. So to remove any doubt, my first name is Ben, the last name is Shai.
And does anyone call you Ben-Shai?
Only family and my partner. In the army, they started calling me by various names and it became a main nickname. The original last name was actually Shaddi, a Yemenite name. When I was 6 or 7, my parents changed it.
So you are actually Yemenite?
Half Yemenite and half Hungarian.
Where were you 10 years ago?
I am 32, so 10 years ago I was 22 and I was in the army.
What did you dream of doing then?
Being in high-tech.
And did you do it?
Yes. I was in the middle of a very long military track, in fact, I did a programming course that I arrived at quite late because I did a year of service. A programming course is a track where you sign up for two and a half, even three years of career service, so I had a very long service of six years in total.
You were not related to food at all, you started a career in computing?
Yes, I was on a very planned track since high school. That's what I aimed myself for: to get into software development in the army, be released, and start working in high-tech.
What happened on the way?
During career service, I moved to a shared apartment that had a kitchen for the first time in my adult life. My dream was that as soon as I entered career service, I would have a kitchen and I would cook my own meals. And that's what happened.
In your parents' house, you never cooked?
Rarely. I had some affinity for flavors, but I didn't deal with it too much. My mother was into cooking, and maybe she ignited this thing in me: 'taste this sauce, tell me if something is missing'. I think from that place something was ignited in me.
Where was the point where you decided to make a sharp change in your career?
I was exposed to content from creators I admire, like sourdough content, and I said, 'I want to try this'. Eventually, I was released in March 2020, exactly during the big Corona boom, and every plan I had, like a long trip after the army, went wrong.
And then you entered high-tech?
I started working remotely from home, I didn't even know my bosses or team members. From that place of boredom, I said, 'I want to do something a little more creative'. I saw new content creators growing before my eyes, and it dawned on me: 'Every great person in their field started from something small, so maybe if I open something today, it will reach something big'.
What was the first video you filmed?
Cacio e Pepe.
How was the filming?
I was shy at first. There are many birth pangs when you start creating content. You are afraid to express yourself, you are afraid to show yourself in front of the camera, you weigh your words.
How long did it take for it to explode?
I think almost a year. It took me over a year to cross the threshold of 1,000 followers on YouTube. I had the job in parallel that gave me financial backing for this very expensive hobby. But as long as I defined it as a hobby, I was fine.
What is the most expensive video you filmed?
A taste test for all types of Pringles I could find. In Israel, Pringles is very expensive. I had about 60 flavors, so about 1,500 shekels.
What was the tastiest?
Salted caramel butter. It's a disgusting Pringles! But it was very unique to me at that time.
When did you realize you could leave the high-tech job?
When I reached the balance between how much I can earn from creating content and how much I earn net from my full-time job. Three years have passed since then, and I earn, I am proud to say, much more than I earned as a high-tech worker.
Are you one of those who think this field is temporary?
I am always in some anxiety. Professional anxiety but also financial anxiety. I know that this field is very competitive, and I must constantly renew myself to remain relevant. If you ask me today what my dream is, it's to continue doing what I do today.
What do people not know about you?
That I have social anxiety, stage fright. When I film, between the takes there are many attempts I make with myself on sentences. Crowded events outside my comfort zone cause me a lot of restlessness in the body, sometimes sweating, tremors. It's something I've been working on for a long time, I also go to therapy.
Is there a campaign you refused to do?
Of course, but in general my approach has softened. When I started, I was very rigid, I was one of those who preach a bit. If I made Cacio e Pepe, I had to have it all by the book. Over time I realized that this whole world of food is the most elementary thing there is. There are no rules, man. If it's tasty to you, do whatever you want.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Instant noodles. I love them very much. Spicy is my favorite.
What do you think is your best recipe?
I think it's the Bolognese sauce I make. The secret is to put a very strong emphasis on a good searing of the meat over the frying of the vegetables. I sear the meat very well and then add the vegetables. And then cook everything for about 4 hours.
What is a good date in your opinion, going to a restaurant or cooking at home?
Going to a restaurant, why do I need to work? I think a good date is a date that exempts both sides from a lot of effort and you can actually deal with the mutual enjoyment. You can cook at home, it's romantic, but someone has to cook, someone has to do the dishes.
