"The goal is not to turn the house into a classroom": how to get children back to routine without stress

The return to school on September 1st is usually accompanied by excitement, but this year it comes after a particularly long and complex period. Children and families are reaching the end of the vacation after months of uncertainty, changes, and tension, and therefore the way they return to routine requires a little more sensitivity.

So what should you really do in the last days of August, and what can you let go of?

Dr. Adam Yisraeli, head of the elementary school education department and head of the education program at the Kibbutzim College, offers a calming approach: instead of turning the end of the vacation into an operation of completing material and academic preparation, it is worth focusing first and foremost on the emotional and physical state of the children.

"This year, against the backdrop of the fighting that has been going on throughout, it is important to remember that this is not a return from a normal summer. The children are coming after a complex period where there was an intense need for a break and freedom, and therefore there is no reason to turn the end of August into another project that the child has to meet," he says.

"The goal in the last days of the vacation is not to turn the house into a classroom again. The most important preparation is not how many pages the child will manage to solve in the workbook, but how they will arrive at the start of the year emotionally and physically."

So can you skip learning at home?

"In most cases, there is indeed no need for it," says Dr. Yisraeli. "If the child expresses a desire to read or practice on their own initiative — that is excellent, but you should not put pressure on them to 'get them back into the swing of things.'"

According to him, especially in the lower grades, there is no expectation that children will enter the classroom on the first day and immediately start intensive learning. "The first weeks at school are intended exactly for this purpose — re-adaptation to the framework, friends, teachers, and rules. Therefore, a child really does not need to arrive on September 1st already 'ready' for every academic requirement."

How do you keep in touch with learning anyway?

You don't have to open a workbook to get your head working. Dr. Yisraeli suggests integrating learning into life itself, without turning it into a chore.

"You can do this in a completely natural way through daily routine: reading a book together, cooking according to a recipe that requires measurement, calculating change while shopping together, or choosing a book together. All these preserve important skills without creating unnecessary tension."

The secret is regular sleep and joint organization

If you don't need to return children to a study routine, what should you focus on in the last days of the vacation? First of all, on the daily schedule.

"There is no need to wake a child at seven in the morning two weeks in advance," says Dr. Yisraeli, "but arriving at August 31st when the child is used to falling asleep at midnight is a recipe for difficulty."

His recommendation is to start a few days before school begins and gradually advance the bedtime and wake-up time. "A tired child has more difficulty concentrating, regulating emotions, and adapting to the framework, and therefore regular sleep is more important at this stage than any academic review."

The preparations themselves can also become a tool that helps children make the transition more smoothly.

"The best way is to let them be an active part of the preparations. Small actions like choosing a pencil case, packing the bag together, or preparing clothes for the first day help the child internalize that the transition is approaching."

For young children in particular, he recommends doing the tasks together rather than just doing everything for them. "Joint organization gives them a sense of control and allows for a more gradual and soft transition from vacation to routine."

Manage your anxieties separately

Sometimes the greatest anxiety about returning to school belongs to the parents: who will be the teacher, how will it be socially, will the child keep up, and what will happen if it is difficult for them.

But according to Dr. Yisraeli, it is important to be careful not to pass these concerns on to the children.

"Children pick up on their parents' concerns very well. Therefore, it is very important to distinguish between the parent's anxiety and what the child themselves feels."

There is no need to ask the child again and again if they are afraid or worried, especially if they did not raise the subject themselves. Instead, he suggests opening a door for conversation, listening, and giving space to what the child feels.

"The goal is not to put concerns into the child's head that were not there to begin with, but to let them know that if something is bothering them — it can be talked about."

The teacher is also part of your team

The relationship between parents and the school has an important role, especially at the beginning of the year.

"The key is to see the teacher as a full partner of the parent," he says. "Even if you have criticism of a teacher or a certain decision of the school, it is very important not to conduct this discourse in front of the child."

According to him, undermining the teacher's authority at home can make it difficult for the child to integrate into the framework even before the year has started.

"It is possible and desirable to be involved and ask questions, but criticism should be managed directly with the educational staff and not in the ears of the children. When the child feels that there is cooperation between the home and the school, they feel safer."

And what to do when the child says: "I don't want to go back to school"?

According to Dr. Yisraeli, there is no need to be immediately alarmed by this sentence.

"The sentence 'I don't want to go back' is completely natural after a long vacation, and you don't need to be alarmed by it immediately. It is allowed to express disappointment that the vacation is over."

Alongside acknowledging the difficulty, you can gently remind the child of the things they do like about school: friends, a favorite activity, or a teacher they are attached to.

However, there are cases where it is worth stopping and checking what is behind the resistance.

"If it is resistance that is unusual in its intensity, lasts for a long time, or is accompanied by significant physiological and emotional symptoms — such as real fear, frequent crying, stomach aches, or sleep difficulties — it is worth stopping and checking if a deeper difficulty is hidden behind the things, and involving the educational staff if necessary."

You don't need to arrive on September 1st "completely ready"

Ultimately, the most important message to parents is actually to let go of the need for everything to be perfect on the first day.

"The child does not need to arrive on September 1st when they are 'completely ready' or perfect. The system itself is prepared to receive the children with a gradual adaptation time."

And what is the role of the parents?

"Your main role as parents is simply to give the child the feeling that they have a solid back, that you believe in them, and that it is perfectly fine to take the time to find their right place in the routine again."

Perhaps this is exactly the most important preparation for a new school year: not another page in a workbook, but a child who arrives at it knowing they have a home to return to.