The choir that became a refuge for bereaved parents: "Our loved ones have no voice - we are their voice"

As the circle of bereavement in Israel continues to expand, more and more families are forced to learn how to live alongside loss and longing. Within this reality, the bereaved parents' choir of the "One Family" organization offers a place where one does not need to explain the pain, one can simply arrive, be together, and give it a voice through music.

Every Tuesday, at a set time, Moshe Keinan stops everything and goes to the choir rehearsal. For him, this is much more than a musical meeting: it is a time dedicated to memory, to connection, and to a moment where one can breathe a little differently. "This day and hour are reserved by me for the choir," he says. "I know that on Tuesday I am arriving at a place where they understand me. The choir is my refuge." Moshe is the father of Sergeant Avihu Keinan, of blessed memory, a fighter in the Givati Brigade who fell in the Gaza Strip 23 years ago. Since his fall, he and his family members have been accompanied by the "One Family" organization.

The connection to the choir was natural for him, partly thanks to his musical background, but very quickly he discovered that the singing is only part of what happens there. "The choir is simply tailored for me. I have a musical background, and over the years we held concerts and performed in Israel and abroad, but the most important thing is the connection between the people. This is a group of peers. Everyone arrives with their own story and their own longing; the music helps us hold the pain together."

"Our loved ones no longer have a voice, so we are their voice," says Moshe. "When we sing, we bring them with us. Everyone sings from their own personal memory, but together one big voice is created. The music does not erase the longing, but it helps to live with it, to express it, and to turn it into something that connects us."

Moshe Swill, CEO of the "One Family" organization, says: "The choir is an example of how human connection and joint creation can provide strength even within deep pain. Through music, the parents find a space to express the longing, to commemorate their loved ones, and to be part of a group that truly understands them. For us, it is important to continue creating meaningful frameworks for the families, which accompany them along the way and allow them to find support, belonging, and hope."

The bereaved parents' choir was established in 2007 at the initiative of Dina Keet, a mother who experienced a double loss. Her first son passed away from an illness, and later she lost her son, Sergeant Ofir Keet, of blessed memory, a fighter in the Givati Brigade. After they lost their son, her partner, who loved to play and sing, stopped engaging with music. Out of a desire to bring music back into his life and to allow other parents to express the pain, Dina established the bereaved fathers' choir. She reached out to other fathers, and eventually a group of 14 bereaved fathers was formed who met every week.

Over the years, the choir became a professional and moving ensemble that performed in schools, at ceremonies, and at events in Israel and around the world. The COVID-19 period stopped its activity, and later the war and the expansion of the circle of bereavement placed a new and painful reality before its members. About a year ago, the activity was renewed in cooperation with the Music Academy, and this time bereaved mothers also joined the ensemble. Today, seven bereaved parents, fathers and mothers, are members of the choir, meeting every week. The meeting begins with conversation and personal connection and continues to a musical rehearsal with a new conductor, whom Keinan describes as talented and dedicated. For the choir members, singing does not eliminate the pain, but it gives it a place, meaning, and a voice.