7 children, including two sets of twins - in 8 years: Chani Mishulovin on the miracles in her life
Moran Kors met with Chani Mishulovin, a mother of seven children, including two sets of twins, and heard from her how to cope with the load, why she chooses to see motherhood as a mission, and what helps her in moments when her strength runs out.
A mother of seven children born within eight years, including two sets of twins. For an outsider, Chani Mishulovin's daily routine might seem almost impossible. But in a conversation with Moran Kors, she asks to present a different angle: not to ignore the difficulty, but to choose to see the privilege within the load.
"There are those who look at it with amazement, and there are those who say: 'Oh my, poor thing, how do you do it?'" she says. However, from her perspective, the answer does not lie in a sophisticated management method, but primarily in the way she views the role she has received.
"The child is much more expensive than the sheet"
Chani herself grew up in a large family of 13 children, so a house full of children is not foreign to her. And yet, she admits that even for her, there are moments when the load is felt strongly.
She describes stressful mornings, preparations for Shabbat, cooking, cleaning, and caring for children, including a pair of eight-month-old twin girls. Sometimes, she says, she reaches a moment where she simply doesn't understand where the strength to continue will come from.
"I say to the Holy One, Blessed be He: You gave me these children, and You give me the strength," she shares.
This approach is also reflected in small, daily moments. Chani tells of her two-year-old son who found shoe polish, thought it was a marker, and scribbled on objects in the house. The initial reaction was panic, but then she stopped.
"The sheet will go to the trash. The child is much more expensive," she explains. From her perspective, even when the house gets messy or something is ruined, it is important to remember who is at the center.
"I am raising whole lives here"
One of the central issues that occupies Chani is the pressure mothers feel to keep up and succeed outside the home. She is familiar with the feeling of women who look at friends who have advanced in their careers and ask themselves what they could have achieved if they hadn't invested so many years in raising children.
According to her, it is precisely here that a different perspective is required. "I am raising whole lives here," she says.
Chani herself is not disconnected from outside activity. She works as a teacher and acts for the benefit of others, but she tries to remember that activity at home is not a secondary thing that happens while "real" life is elsewhere.
One of the things that she thinks makes life especially difficult is comparison. "Comparisons are our biggest disaster," she says. Seeing how someone else's house looks, what she managed to do, and where she advanced, can cause a woman to lose sight of what she has already received and what she herself is building.
Even a mother is allowed to ask for help
Belief in a mission, emphasizes Chani, does not mean that one is not allowed to get tired. She says that sometimes she sends the children to the synagogue or uses the help of others to allow herself to vent and return to them with more strength.
According to her, there is no contradiction between the desire to be with the children and the need to sometimes take a short break. The goal is not to "get rid" of them, but to refill oneself in order to be present for them.
And in the end, this is also the message she wants to convey to other mothers: do not measure every day only by the list of tasks completed, and do not think that if we didn't manage enough, we are not good enough.
"We are always in this place where we were simply fortunate," she says. Even in the busy moments, alongside the bottles, the crying, the arguments, and the fatigue, she tries to remind herself that the home and the children are not an obstacle on the way to her mission. From her perspective, they are the mission itself.
