"You had a child? Be with him": The stand-up comedian who sparked a debate online
Roi Tsabari explained why he prefers not to send his son to a daycare framework in his early years. "Until he speaks - you shouldn't send him to any framework." When he called on parents to work less in order to be with their children, a debate erupted online: "This is a privilege that many cannot afford."
Stand-up comedian Roi Tsabari was a guest on the podcast of stand-up comedian Mor Chen and told why he prefers to raise his child at home and not send him to a framework in the first years of his life. During the conversation, Tsabari presented two main reasons for the decision — the fear of what happens in early childhood frameworks and the desire to be present himself during the years that he says are the most critical for a child's development.
"Until he speaks, you shouldn't send him to any framework," said Tsabari, explaining that for him, the child's ability to tell his parents what he went through is a significant condition for sending him to a framework.
"Dad, they hit me, dad, they touched me, dad, they did this to me, dad, it doesn't taste good to me, dad, it's not fun for me, dad, it's unpleasant for me," he illustrated.
Chen agreed with the concern and said that the stories about what happens in frameworks make the subject increasingly "scary." Tsabari added that the abundance of difficult cases exposed in recent years has created a reality in which even serious incidents might be perceived almost as a matter of routine. "Oh, she only slapped him, thank God she didn't burn him with an iron," he said cynically.
Later, Tsabari presented another reason for the choice to keep the child at home. "You had a child for a reason, out of desire, out of love. You had a child, you wanted this, right? Are you throwing him now to all sorts of places to someone else? Be with him," he said. Chen replied: "Certainly in the first years," and Tsabari added that these are "the most critical and most important years."
According to him, he is aware that the choice is not suitable for every family and every parent, among other things due to career and livelihood constraints, but wondered if in some cases working extra hours to fund a framework actually misses the point. "The kindergarten is 5,000 shekels," he said. "You work a lot more extra hours for the kindergarten — reduce those hours and be with the child. Be with him."
Tsabari's words sparked quite a few reactions, with some surfers connecting to the desire to spend more time with the children, but others disagreed with the statement that one can simply work less and stay with them at home.
"Whoever can reduce hours and be more with the children — amazing, let them do it. But to say 'just work less' as if it's an option available to every parent, is very detached from the labor market we live in," wrote Noa Bar-On.
Alona wrote: "Great, only this is a privilege that many parents cannot afford," and Lior added: "As a mother in homeschooling, the phrase 'throw the child' stung me. We live in such a difficult country, it's impossible not to earn a living."
Alongside the criticism, there were also those who supported his words. "What happiness that he is the father of my child," wrote Tsabari's partner, Almog Shor. Another commenter wrote: "There is no privilege for anyone. Being with the child is a daily choice. It is to put the child and slowly thaw the relationship, social connections, and career. But — it is worth every moment."
