Raising the Orphans of October 7: Grandparents Bearing the Weight of Grief
Grandparents raising orphaned children after the October 7 massacres share their profound daily struggles, balancing overwhelming grief with the responsibility of parenting.
The devastating events of October 7 left 27 children orphaned of both mother and father. For many families, alongside the profound grief of losing a son or daughter, grandparents and extended family members stepped into the parenting role. They are raising these children with immense love and dedication, while grappling with the agonizing realization that no amount of love can fill the void left in their hearts.
Living in an Illusion of Babysitting
Ety Gete is raising her grandchildren, eight-year-old Naveh and four-year-old Rif, alongside her partner Avi. Their mother, Stav, who raised them as a single mother, was murdered at the Mefalsim intersection while fleeing the Nova music festival, just twenty minutes from her home. Following the tragedy, Ety and Avi bought a new house with a yard to provide a stable environment for the children.
Four-year-old Rif often asks heartbreaking questions. "Two weeks ago, while folding kitchen towels, she asked me, 'Where is my mom?!'" Ety shares. "I told her mom is in the sky, but she once replied, 'Then bring mom back from the sky.' I live in an illusion that I'm just a babysitter, that Stav will soon return—and then it hits me that she won't come back."
The struggle extends across multiple aspects of daily life. Ety describes feeling disconnected from peers of her own age, noting the emotional toll of returning to the responsibilities of young parenthood later in life.
When Naveh couldn't sleep, crying inconsolably, I was exhausted. I told him it was 11 PM and time for school tomorrow. Finally, I climbed into his bunk bed and lay down beside him. When I asked him what he was feeling, he said he was afraid of dying. His worries are existential. His mother promised she would be with him forever, and now she is gone.
Screaming Like Crazy from the Weight of Grief
Gila and Reuven Chen live in Kibbutz Maoz Haim in the Beit She'an Valley. On October 7, they were babysitting their granddaughters, Manor, now 15, and Neri, now 12, while their parents went to celebrate at the Nova festival and never returned. Temporary babysitting turned into permanent guardianship as the girls began a new life at the kibbutz.
"I went crazy in the first year," Gila admits candidly about the burden of bereavement. "I would just scream like crazy. I couldn't handle the intensity of the pain, nor could I bear witness to their pain and fear. Everything came out with violence and overwhelming emotion."
Asking Why, Far Too Young
Ety and Eli Bracha are raising 10-year-old Eliav and his older brother Raphael, who recently celebrated his Bar Mitzvah, in Kiryat Ekron. Their daughter Gal and her husband Naji were murdered at the Nova festival. Ety recalls the agonizing moment they had to break the news to the children.
"How do you tell children such a thing? Two disasters at once. They screamed and cried," Ety says. Despite her own immense grief over losing a daughter, she conceals her tears from the children. "I cry alone while hanging laundry at one o'clock in the morning. Eliav sometimes breaks down and asks, 'Grandma, why does this happen to me? I am just a little boy who wants Mom and Dad.'"
Raising Teenagers After the Hostage Ordeal
Dorit and Yuval Or face a uniquely complex situation. On October 7, their son Dror and daughter-in-law Yonat were murdered in their home in Kibbutz Be'eri. Two of their three children, Noam and Alma, were kidnapped to Gaza, while the eldest, Yahali, was away on a year of national service. Another grandchild, Liam, the son of their daughter Dana, was also abducted from a different kibbutz.
The teenagers returned from captivity later, only to learn that their parents had been murdered. Dorit realized she had to be the one to break the news. Beyond the tragedy, the family acknowledges a secondary loss: the grandchildren mourn the fact that Dorit and Yuval are no longer simply grandparents, having been forced into the role of primary caregivers at ages 75.
"The sadness is vast, and the emptiness grows larger as we look toward the future," Yuval notes. "When these children eventually marry, who will stand beside them? There will be a profound void."
Looking Toward an Uncertain Future
Julio and Gloria immigrated from Colombia, and their daughter Yvon was born in Israel. Yvon, a single mother, was murdered at the Nova festival. Today, in Jerusalem, they are raising her eight-year-old son, Aviel.
"My greatest fear is what will happen to Aviel one day when we are no longer here," Gloria says. "Every day he says he is sad and misses his mother. It breaks my heart, but I gather my strength to show him resilience because he is my life."
