“I am definitely the weaker figure in the relationship”

The transition of Dor Taub (29), a graduate of the reality show 'New Love', from a Tel Aviv bachelor who loves basketball and social media to a full-time father did not go smoothly. Their firstborn son, Sean Shimshon, was born about four months ago to him and his wife Noya Ariely (29). The two were matched on the show in what started as a shaky match that on screen, unlike in real life, did not succeed. The couple experienced a temporary separation before a magnificent comeback until in September 2024 they stood under a chuppah, and the rest is history.

Now, in the 'Spill It' podcast with Lilach Markovich, he describes how the new parenthood brought with it a radical change in the couple's dynamics, after he recently even shared that he is no longer his wife's lover, but the servant.

“I am in a period where I am not shooting funny videos all the time. It's not happening, I don't have that energy. So what, not upload at all? Let's upload what I'm going through. I didn't think too much, I uploaded it at about nine in the evening, I went to play basketball. If I go with myself in the evening, it's so that I have a kind of psychologist.”

It was very exposed, to share about your feelings as a man in a relationship. In the end, I knew that people would identify with it, I knew that this feeling of feeling like a servant and not a lover, feeling like a servant to her new lover, is a feeling that is natural. I don't share so that people will say, 'Wow, how cute', I am never the point of the content. The point is that people will identify. I knew that this was something that needed to be raised. I don't know how many father-content creators, I don't get to follow too many who share these things, and I knew that this was something that needed to be said, because I constantly hear people saying, 'Yes, it's like that for me too', 'Yes, everyone goes through this'.

A baby enters the picture. The man in a relationship always feels like his wife's king, the woman always gives the feeling that you are my king, I will do everything for you, I am always taking care of you. And suddenly it's not like that. And on the one hand, I understand it and accept it and embrace it, because it's the most amazing thing in the world that she takes care of my son, that she does everything she can to take care of my son. This is the best thing I could have asked for. I tell him all the time, 'How lucky you are that this is your mother'. But yes, you are pushed into a corner in some place. A man never wants to be so important to his wife, it's like 'you don't need to worry about me so much, everything is fine'. But suddenly when it disappears, it's 'wait, wow, what?'.

Taub does not hide the disagreements that come with the current stage of his life — and also the fears, but explains why precisely in this period the responsibility to 'get under the stretcher' falls on men, who according to him need to leave the romance.

“I don't sleep, Noya doesn't sleep at all. Noya is breastfeeding and he doesn't sleep, so she doesn't sleep either. A king-child who doesn't like to sleep. Every time one of us breaks, the other tells him 'it's a period', such a mantra. Because it's really hard. On the one hand, it's good to hold on to this thing of 'listen, this part will end sometime' on the other hand... I don't like that people look at things as a period and that they need to end. I like to enjoy the moment, even if it's hard, to miss.”

Didn't they tell you before? On the day he was born, we asked the nurse at the hospital: 'And what happens at night? He doesn't eat, right? Only sleeps', and she says: 'No, you need to breastfeed him every hour'. No one bothered to tell us this at any stage of the pregnancy. Were you afraid before you became a father? Not really. Now I'm more afraid. Now it's hard for me. I wasn't afraid of anything, I was very excited about it. I have nothing to think about the difficulty when it arrives. You know, it's like a basketball player's mantra - don't think about missing a shot you haven't taken yet. Thanks to the daily routine, you slowly understand how to manage better. You know, people fight a lot in this period, there's nothing to do, and during the fights, when you want to solve it for a moment, it's hard, because you are both not sleeping and both are irritable and everyone is eating shit. Now, go explain to her, 'You're not giving me attention, I need A, B, C', when she is about to collapse, not sleeping at all, she is not thinking about herself, not thinking about exercising, not thinking about buying clothes, not thinking about walking around, not thinking about going out with friends, nothing. My friends go out, I don't meet them because what kind of face do I have? Everyone has their own, and it's very hard to solve things like that, to breathe and say, 'Wait, what does my partner need in order for it to be better now?'. It's a little easier for me than for her, because I don't have the load like she has. In the evening when she goes to bed with him and breastfeeds him, I have my time with myself. So I have the time to come and say 'Okay, where can I improve all the time?'. I am really constantly trying to improve, and so is she.

Against the background of Ariely's struggles that Taub describes — not the only ones, he clarifies that men should deal with raising the child. 'Forget about yourselves, about the romance, it always has time and the romance is also found in other places. The romance is in bathing him together, we are always singing to him together, and looking at the fruit of your love together. In the end, he will grow up.'

You are very cheesy, you know? 'I'm gay. Sorry... Yes, I'm soft. I have a very important role. First of all, on a physical level.' Even for an active content creator who did social media for Noa Kirel, and for Ariely, who makes a living among other things as a model, the exposure of the two on the networks since the birth has become challenging, specifically for Noya, who was forced last month to deal also with poisonous arrows following a picture she uploaded with a neckline. After a barrage of reactions, she decided to respond to the matter while calling her chest chocolate milk bags. However, Taub says that his wife, who according to him laughs about it, is still dealing with insecurity ('I tell her, 'Look how beautiful you are' and then she says, 'Okay, but I'm only beautiful, it's only the face').

Is this something she talked to you about? 'It doesn't hurt her. 'Doesn't hurt' - listen, Noya, like all women, looks at herself in the mirror and is not always satisfied and 'once it was better'. Not that she can't show me how she looked exactly the same, 'how thin I was here', and like, looks exactly the same. We don't feel that we look the same, and it doesn't help if they tell us. True, so I accept it and I tell her, 'Don't worry, a period, it will pass'. She is also the most beautiful in the world, so she doesn't have too much to complain about. If she complains, I tell her 'Listen, say thank you for how you look'.

There are reactions in which they criticize your relationship. That sometimes they dare to say that you are the weaker figure in the relationship, and she is more managing. 'I am the weaker figure in the relationship, definitely. They are right. Now we are buying a car - she does everything. Deals with insurance, which route is best, which car is best. I'm like, 'Okay, come on, I'll do the content. Tell me what the content is, I'll do it'.'

And you stand behind it. 'I have a very important role. First of all, on a physical level, I try to be a cannon. Everything that is needed physically, I do. I accompany her everywhere, I always take a deep breath, try to do all the things that will make me good and her good and our son good, and I am in a very-very positive and optimistic approach, and many times I am also irritable since I have a child, I find myself on the road cursing everyone... In general, I am a happy, optimistic and smiling person and living in the moment, and this is something that Noya took from me. Now, Noya is very-very responsible, it's not that she doesn't have joy of life - but I bring into her more to see the good in everything.' According to him, 'of course I would like to do more, but I have known myself for 30 years. Things haven't changed. There are things I can give and I give a lot, really. I will get up every second, she will tell me at 3 in the morning to get up, bring her something from downstairs, ice cream - I will do it with joy with a smile. Like this is my value, you understand?'.

If there is a competition, Noya wins. The road to the world of networks came to Taub through the back door - and with financial comfort, when his wife did not rush him to work after he was fired from his position as a copywriter in an advertising agency. But then he started filming videos every day, and saw how the matter leads him to self-realization and a not bad financial path, together with Ariely who also established herself. At the same time, Taub declares that money does not drive him, but a desire to create and fulfill a dream as a director and actor.

You are both in this world of content creation, was it clear to you that you put more emphasis on the together or did it just happen? 'We never had any strategy, 'let's work together now and make content'. From the moment we left the reality show and became a couple, from my eyes, overnight she became an influencer. I don't know how long it took until she started making money from it, it could be that it wasn't fast, but very quickly she just became an influencer. I didn't think about this world at all, I was a copywriter and worked in an office. I was fired after October 7, I ate such complexes with myself and didn't know what to do. A bug entered me that I just write a video every day, film a video every day. And that's what I did - I got up in the morning, walked the dog, sat in this and until 12 noon I didn't leave the computer until I had a video for the day that I upload. She just gave me the strength to believe that this is a job, I didn't think I could work in such a job. I saw how she works and also that it's not stressful for her that I start working and bring in money, so it gave me some peace simply. It came from me from a place of creation, from a place of wanting to succeed in this thing, not necessarily money. I didn't even understand how they bring in, I didn't think about the campaigns. I wanted to bring the acting to expression and the writing. Also in the advertising agency, when I was a copywriter, they would tell me 'no' on every idea, so every idea that they told me 'no' I would just make a video out of it, to prove to myself and to them that it worked.'

Is there a competition between you? 'No, but if there is a competition she wins. Her numbers and mine are very far from each other.' Who earns more? 'In the last three months I assume that I, but until now always her. It could be that even now still her.' Does it not bother you as a man that she earns more? 'Let her earn more!'.

However, alongside the financial success and the desire for more, Taub could not avoid prominent incidents - among other things when his wife accidentally uploaded a picture of him after a massage, when the towel that was wrapped around him was tight, and exposed a little too much. The picture was deleted immediately, but the screenshot was distributed, and a conflict allegedly in the industry, when according to him: 'Matan Peretz has a beef with me, I don't know what he wants.'

What does he want? 'I don't know, I listened to his podcast, I don't know what he wants, I have no idea, but I also wrote to him on Instagram, 'Brother, what, like something happened? I don't know, do you want to talk about it?' - he didn't even answer. He claimed that I left some bad comment and deleted, I don't remember such a thing happening. I think he misunderstood. If I ever delete comments it's only because I replied to someone and then a lot of people start replying to me and then it starts driving me crazy because it pops up for me all the time. Why should I go out on him?'.

What about the picture that Noya took? 'Of my member, can I say? Iconic.' Didn't you think for a moment what would happen with the fact that she photographed you? 'I didn't see it, apparently she didn't see it either. In general I wasn't aware of these things until recently. After this picture I started to be aware, and I remember that Yuval Maor, who was with us in the program, wrote to us, 'Everything is visible to him', and then Noya just deleted and it didn't help, it already reached all the pages.' What goes up to the networks stays there. 'From my point of view, it's positive advertising. I looked good.'

They give you an option, or Noya will do a campaign in the nude or you - what would you prefer? 'Me.' What's the problem that Noya will do? 'What suddenly. Yesterday she wanted to go down with Sean at 10 at night in pajamas. I told her 'go up home, go up'.'