"I love Guri for who he is. Titles, money, and success can collapse in an instant"
Sheri Alfi-Nissan—actress, singer, author, and Oxford researcher—reflects on the culture of self-realization, her Iraqi roots, and life in the shadow of her famous family. On the occasion of her new novel, "Only on Happy Occasions," she shares her thoughts on why the pursuit of success can lead to a sense of lack, and discusses maintaining close ties with her brother, Guri Alfi, and her parents while living in England.
"In the past, coming-of-age novels featured teenagers. Today, the protagonist is often 40. For me, 'Only on Happy Occasions' is not just about pregnancy or single parenthood; it is a comedic story about a heroine who, at 40, finally finds the ability to feel comfortable separate from her parents' expectations," says Sheri Alfi-Nissan about Merav Mansour, the lead character of her new novel. Sheri herself—a 45-year-old PhD in sociology, author, and actress—admits that unlike her character, she does not seek to distance herself from her family, despite living in Oxford as a post-doctoral fellow with her husband, Ruby, and their three daughters.
Siblinghood and Roots
Sheri is the youngest child of the legendary storyteller Yossi Alfi. She continues his legacy by developing a "knowledge storytelling" method, which she uses to teach Israeli culture in England. When asked about her relationship with her famous brother, Guri Alfi, she responds:
"Siblinghood is a complex thing. Fortunately, in recent years, we have had excellent relations. I love Guri for who he is. Titles, money, and success are things that can collapse in an instant, and the meaning of being human lies in the relationships you have with those around you."
The Alfi-Nissan family maintains their traditions even while living in an English village. "We are the only Jews in the area, and our neighbors love coming over for Friday night dinners. The table is always full, and it’s an event that fascinates them," she shares.
A Critical Look at the "Success Culture"
In her research, Alfi-Nissan critiques the "realize yourself" culture prevalent among Generation I (the internet generation). She refers to it as "cruel optimism":
"When we think the sky is the limit, we cling to a narrative that makes us unhappy. The pursuit of millions or status leaves us with a constant sense of lack. We are so focused on ourselves as creators of the world that we lose our capacity for joint political action."
Perhaps this is why Sheri has avoided social media for years, preferring direct human connection. "I have a sign in my bedroom that says: 'Don't forget your dreams, your ability to daydream, and to look people in the eyes.' Modesty is what our grandmothers passed down to us, and it is something I want to preserve," she concludes.
